if only i could text you this smell
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
