So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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