I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
