Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
