Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
