You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
