that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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