is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
