im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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