Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize