i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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