Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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