census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
