how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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