if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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