a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
