Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
