When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize