Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
