Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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