Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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