even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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