smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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