remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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