I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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