I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
