YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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