Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
