Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
