my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
