conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize