I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
