I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
