I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
