I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
