is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
