I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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