Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
