Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
