normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This baby is an asshole
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
