for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize