wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
