Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize