i may or may not be watching the land before time
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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