No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
should my penis look like a turkey
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
