Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The Olympian is in my bed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
