careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
