hotel room ftw
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
