Plan B is the new Plan A
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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