accomplished twins. life is a go
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
