...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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