I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
