i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
