The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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