I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think a kid would responsible me up
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
