im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
