I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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